After having shared a bed with my daughter for over two years, I started transitioning her to her own bed back in April. I started by putting her in her twin bed in her nursery for naps, but she still slept with me in my queen bed at night. Once she got used to sleeping in her own bed at naptime, I transitioned her to her nursery at night. I pulled the second mattress that I kept under the bed out but still laid down with her on her bed. I nursed her to sleep like usual, but, once she fell asleep, I rolled down onto the second mattress for the rest of the night.
By June, I no longer had to lay in bed with my daughter until she fell asleep completely before I could move to the mattress on the floor. I always cuddled with my daughter for a little bit after my husband put us to bed. After she calmed down a bit, I kissed her on the forehead and then rolled down to my mattress. My daughter and I then held hands for a little bit longer. Once my arm was tired of reaching up, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then let go. She and I then drifted to sleep on our separate but adjacent beds. As July rolled around, she and I continued making progress in the transition from shared bed to independent toddler bed.
I am now both happy and a little saddened to announce that my toddler daughter now sleeps completely on her own in her own room at night. She first slept on her own on July 27. As I wrote on my Facebook profile that night, “After over an hour of crying, whining, and otherwise not sleeping and keeping Mommy awake, I left Poppy’s room and slept on my own bed. She whined and cried some more but finally went to sleep on her own. I did not hear her the rest of the night. Perhaps now is the time to let her start sleeping by herself. I will see how mad she is when she wakes up in a bit.” Over the next week, falling asleep on her own became easier and easier for my daughter. I recorded the progress via Facebook:
- “Night #2 of putting Poppy to bed by herself. My heart is breaking at hearing, ‘I need you, mommy,’ over and over again. But I must be strong. I was so much less grumpy today after sleeping in my own room. Happy mommy=happy toddler.”
- “Night #3 of Poppy and me sleeping in separate rooms. I can hear her right now alternating between singing ‘Soft Kitty’ to herself and guilt tripping me with, ‘I need you, Mommy. I need you, Mommy.’ “
- “Night #4 of Poppy sleeping on her own. Much less crying. Only a few ‘I need you, Mommy’ cries followed by talking to herself. Now silence after less than 15 minutes. The transition from shared bed to big girl bed seems to be a success!”
- “Night #5: Poppy whined only a few minutes and then fell to sleep!”
- “Night #6: Must. Not. Give in to Poppy’s increased attempts at guilt tripping me.”
- “No crying or whining from Poppy tonight!”
Tonight as I left the room after cuddling with her for a minute and kissing her goodnight, my daughter told me that she knew that I was in the next room if she needed me. When I closed the door and turned off the hallway light, I heard her cry to herself for about ten seconds and then she quickly fell to sleep. I am declaring the transition from shared bed to toddler bed a success!
Although I am a bit saddened that our bed-sharing days are over, I can also say that both my daughter and I are sleeping better in separate rooms. My daughter seems more rested in the mornings, likely due to not hearing me toss and turn and get up to visit the bathroom all night. Her terrible twos naughty behaviors seems to have improved over the last week as well, which I assume is a result of sleeping better at night. I, too, am not awakened by my daughter anymore during the night as she moves in her sleep. I do miss the all-night snuggles, but our relationship is definitely stronger now that we sleep apart. I will always cherish the two and a half years that my daughter and I bed-shared, but the time had come to move into separate beds and separate rooms.
If you shared a bed or room with your child, how long did the transition from shared sleeping space to independent sleeping take?
Originally written on August 2, 2014
Image Credits
Poppy’s Big Girl Toddler Bed © 2014 Heather Johnson
The post Completing the Transition from Shared Bed to Toddler Bed appeared first at Completing the Transition from Shared Bed to Toddler Bed
